How to approach. *Please read*
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How to approach. *Please read* Posted on: 10.03.2012 by Jeramy Akinola I believe this is a high priority thread.Here we go: When I first got interested in music I started to go to real clubs and parties, graduations etc, I was 14 years old, I started buying tons of music, mostly EDM, and I now I have a huge music library of around 10.000 songs and it keeps growing day by day. When I got to 15, I had the desire to start mixing, so I researched, I went into the internet and searched what to get, how to mix, downloaded Virtual DJ Home, etc. I found DigitalDJTips and DJTechTools which are what used to be my facebook and twitter. I researched day by day, new gear, new music, mixing tips, I mapped my keyboard, but at one point about 3 months later after my birthday I decided I needed a controller. So I did alot of research, and based on my savings, I had a list of: 1. Vestax VCI100 2. Traktor Audio 2 3. A pair of M-Audio Studiophiles 4. Allen & Heath Xone XD:40 5. Traktor PRO 2 After I had all my money and what I wanted to buy figured out, I had to approach my parents. -This is where the topic comes in- I didn't know how to approach them. Because I knew they would believe this is stupid, it's just a craving a short term desire in a way, that it would be a waste of money and I wouldn't have a future with it. I talked to them and they answered exactly how I expected, although I had the money I MYSELF saved, I ended up getting a Behringer BCD3000, Traktor Pro 2, American Audio HP700 and using my room's sound system speakers. By the way Im still 15 going to be 16 in a couple of months. I'm not complaining about my gear, I love it, it's just an example. You must understand, some people need to find a way to approach their parents, explain to them. How would you approach them, help people out, give them tips, etc. Ean Golden gave us his http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=FDQbQfp6wDU and http://store.djranking s.com/startdjing It's your turn. Help out. | |
| Jeramy Akinola 11.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by dj matt blaze
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| Trista Karle 11.03.2012 | In sorry if I don't feel for you. Web I was 15 I worked average of 60 hours a week to feed my music addiction. Tech 1200s djm800 and was a gear slut. The only approval I needed was to work more to buy more. Bytime I was 16 I had 2 setups and over 400 records. And I was going to college at this point since high school didn't work out so I was working massive hours going to college full time and paying for all my gear. What I'm getting at is get a Job and quit acting like your so deserving. It sickens me how deserving the younger generation believes they are. Allowance is suppose to teach you responsibility. Get a job and buy your shit nothing feels better then getting a 1000 dollar check when your 15 and be able to blow it on whatever you want. I am 27 and It takes me more time to decide what I'm buying then when I was your age. I would just buy but now it takes a long time to make up my mind on these things. For a year I couldn't decide between a ns6 or s4. I ended up getting a ns6 if I'd been 15 I'd bought both by now and not even of batted an eye. Difference is I would of worked for my money not worked my parents for the money. |
| Ok Moroski 11.03.2012 | As for your music collection, don't go bragging about your "10,000 song collection" as a badge of music love, then go telling us about how you "got a hard drive from your brother with all of his music on it." For one, getting your brother's hard drive like that is piracy, just like downloading off of the internet would be. Unless he no longer has access to the songs and he gifted them to you, you've duplicated the file and shared it - i.e. piracy. That is regardless of whether he even purchased them to begin with. The songs are coming from a USB connection instead of an ethernet connection does not get around the fact that you did not purchase or legally obtain them. Furthermore, it's not a measuring contest; more songs in your collection does not necessarily make you a better DJ. In fact, it probably just means you have a lot more terrible/inappropriate-for-DJing songs that you'll (hopefully) never play. The only reason this fact would have been relevant is if you had put significant money into the purchase of these songs; as a sign that you're willing to throw the money down on music, so you're probably actually serious about it. I thought it when I saw the article and this only made me believe it once more; Your parents are your parents. Aside from being courteous, thoughtful about what you're asking for(including explanations), and respectful you're not going to get specific advice from a community . There are two main factors here: 1) No matter what advice you get, there is no "magic bullet advice" that's going to overwhelm your parents' tendencies or attitudes. DJing is a very expensive hobby and aside from that it's usually a fairly intrusive hobby to those around you as we DJs tend to like to play music loudly. 2) These are your parents. We don't know them from Adam and Eve, so any specific advice we give is at best only going to be semi-effective and at worst it's going to lead you down the wrong path. Again, the best thing you can do is to be polite and courteous. Explain why you not only want these things/DJing in general, but why they would benefit your development as a person (parents usually care about this type of thing; go figure) and possibly how it could benefit your parents as well. I'm not going to spoonfeed you answers here, but there you go. Also, I'd suggest not talking about allowance money as though you've, "earned it." Managing to live through another week or even doing chores around the house does not earn you money, it gives your parents an excuse to give you money. If you'd like to argue that, get a job in a year and come back and tell us about how you used to "earn" your allowance. I know you didn't buy the music, but this rant stands: For the record, my parents aren't poor by any means but it still would have taken me literally over ten years worth of allowance and birthdays to get $10,000 together. Even the $1,000 you're talking about spending would have taken about a year and a half. Nevermind how long it would take to have that much extra in my budget for DJ gear. Let me trounce your entitlement a little bit here: It may be money that you chose not to spend, but it's money your parents earned and allowed you to have - do you see now where the term allowance comes from? Allowances are intended to show children the value of money by limiting its supply similar to a weekly paycheck. Teenagers blow money on dumb stuff all the time (I know I did) so parents are rightfully cautious about this. I'm also going to wager here that if you hadn't been impatient and blown your money on the gear you settled on, your parents might have come around in terms of the gear you wanted; it's entirely likely that they were testing you to see if you had the strength of will to firmly stand behind what you were asking for; instead you buckled and essentially told them, "well, I'd rather have my gear now, so I guess the better gear isn't that big of a deal." Realistically this has probably already sealed your fate. I know it may not have gone down exactly like this, but I strongly suggest you evaluate the similarities between what I just wrote and how it did, in fact, go down. At age 21 I asked for/received a VCI-100 for my birthday and bought the upgrade from Traktor LE, headphones, and a soundcard myself from my savings. I asked for/received an APC40 for Christmas a year later and got that. I started out slowly and I used my 2.1 computer speakers to DJ for some time. You can spread it out - you don't need the best of everything all at once. Can't afford solid DJ headphones? Use the headphones you have lying around until you can! Can't buy studio monitors right off the bat? Wait a year and a half into DJing to get them like I did. Your "using my room's sound system speakers" is the epitome of a "first world problem." Your room has a sound system already and you're bitching that you can't use studio monitors? Oh and yes, you are in fact complaining about your gear; or at least about how your parents won't let you spend, "your money." Let's review: You posted a thread asking about how to approach your parents for their approval to spend money on DJing gear. You already have a set of gear that they bought for you, so they've obviously okayed the idea of your DJing to begin with. They've also already bought you gear. The only problem remaining with the situation is that it's not the gear that you wanted. I'd also argue that resale-wise and value-for-gear wise you'd be a lot better off replacing the appropriate parts in there with an S2 or S4. Buying a VCI-100 now PLUS Traktor PLUS a soundcard just seems silly with the S2 and S4 available considering the price points of the gear involved. And long term, if you need to sell off your S4, you're going to get a hell of a lot more value for it than you will for an Audio 2, a TP2 key, and a VCI. You said you researched before asking for the gear that you did. If you had researched sufficiently, I don't believe you would have ended up choosing a VCI-100 at this stage in the game (unless you found an amazing deal on a used one) with that kind of budget. Your best step now would be to learn how to use the gear you have. You really aren't going to be actually limited by that gear probably through your first year or so of DJing, anyway. Get a mix together and show your parents what this investment in gear has allowed you to learn; then they'll see the benefit of spending that kind of money instead of just hearing, "oh, little Johnny wants to spend another $1,000." Also, I believe your biggest problem most likely lies in convincing your parents that the better gear is worth the price difference. You need to convince them that the value for money argument is there; that a VCI-100 is much more durable, that the parts feel better in actual use and you'll get better experience and a feel that's far closer to setups costing 2-3 times the money. You need to try to put yourself in your parents' shoes and try to see why they would be convinced that the gear is worth it. Your excitement does not translate to their wanting to pull money of of their wallets, despite how much you've, "earned it." And no, a thread about helping a child (with a silver spoon firmly implanted in his mouth along with a gigantic sense of entitlement) get better DJ gear is not a "high priority" by any means to anyone here but you. I apologize for the harsh tone; but you, young sir, are clearly in need of a bit of a dose of humility. P.S. Honestly, we couldn't care less about your Hardwell-opening friend. Not only is opening for a big act not necessarily impressive (a lot of times openers are just filling a slot with little regard to quality), but also pointing out an isolated incident of a young person performing well does not mean that you will be able to do the same thing. DJing is, as your parents said, "[you] didn't know how hard it is and that it would be a waste of money bla bla bla." The "bla bla bla" here points out how you're just ignoring/dismissing the objections your parents are coming up with. What makes you expect anything but the same response in turn? Also no, I don't believe you know how hard DJing is. You can't know how hard it is until you've done it for a while; until you look at your setup a year in and say "why do I even do this anymore?" but then force yourself to spin and remember why you love the craft. And that's probably why your parents want you to learn on budget gear instead of blowing $1,000 on gear that you're fairly likely to not even want to use in the future. From what I've seen on DJTT and from people I've met, I'd say easily about half of the people who start DJing end up dropping the hobby within a year or two. It looks easy, and people get excited at the beginning with small successes. Once you get over the initial bit of learning though, it gets a lot more involved and requires a lot more research and practice. This craft is not easy, it is not cheap, and it will not be handed to you on a silver platter like your "brother's music collection." It requires hard work, dedication, and patience - convince your parents that you're capable of those things and they may hear your argument with more sympathetic ears. |
| Joselyn Supina 11.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
So if you're trying to talk to others about how to approach parents, why don't you use this thread to tell others how you approached yours. I'm old, but happen to be in a committed relationship with one bank account. I said I needed a turntable to listen to my record collection..."oh look, here's two for the same price as 1!" Then it was, "I have two turntables, I should just get a mixer and mess around." And then..."but it would be really neat to use my mp3 collection, I'm just going to get a cheap controller for the hell of it." Cheap mixer and cheap controller come, two days later...."these kind of suck, I'm going to return them and buy something decent." A month later, "I'm buying a new mac book pro!" |
| Roseanna Signorini 12.03.2012 | Usually when parents have that kind of attitude they have a reason. I don't know you or your parents but maybe there was a time when you wanted something else really really bad liketo take Karate and they paid for it and then you quit after a month, something like that. You have to prove to your parents that this is something you really want to do and even if it doesn't work out you could always sell the gear off. I was a shy kid and my parents had to push me into different activities, They knew I liked the drums so they pushed me to talk to the music teacher in elementary school to start drum lessons. When I was 12 they bought me a drum set and I started taking set lessons. My dad was really into music and had a "hi-fi" stereo system back then with a reel to reel, real expensive JVC turntable and bought a CD player when they first came out. I started buying 12" records when I was 15 with my own money and making remixes on my dual cassette deck. I bought my first mixer and turntables when I was 19, also with my own money. Go to a local mobile DJ company and get try to get a job as a DJ assistant. It will teach you the ins and outs of DJing, how to run a party, how to deal with clients, its good learning experience. Show your parents that you are really serious about it, even more than your brother. |
| Jeramy Akinola 12.03.2012 | 402827_10150518739808258_752438257_8691336_825670465_n.jpg These are just the Posters but I'll get the pics of them later. |
| Jeramy Akinola 12.03.2012 | I'll ask him for the pictures and videos and post them up. |
| Jeramy Akinola 12.03.2012 | About the "$10k worth of tracks" thing I explained it earlier, and yes my friend did open for Hardwell at 15 in Aruba, He has videos, and pics with him as well. Believe me or not, he did open for him. gre.jpg He's name is Salomon Muci. Yeah I know, I said he DJs in the weekend I believe, of course, but as I said I mixed with him sometimes but that becomes acceptable until some point, mixing with him is what got me to start mixing. |
| Dione Haimes 11.03.2012 | $10k worth of tracks at 15, friends opening for big name DJs @ 15 y/o, this is beginning to get a bit fishy... anyway, im 20, been DJing since i was 15(ish), never had my own gear though, learned through courses ran by the local council etc etc blah dee blah nobody cares, even if your brother is "highly known" about your town i doubt he DJs 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, anytime he isn't using his decks, make sure your on them practising. |
| Annalisa Shogren 11.03.2012 | Fuck, when I started I had to justify my spending to my Mum and I was 20!! I just said to her that the gear holds its price well if I did choose to sell it. And if it's in your house, it's something you can just pick up when you feel like it. Not like a sport where you have to go out of your way to get to the venue or spend money getting there etc. |
| France Evoniuk 11.03.2012 | I'm 16. My parents tried to get me to play guitar but I got bored. I wasn't really into music much back then. Then I got really into EDM, listened to some mixes and decided "Hey, I really want to be able to do that, that's really cool." So I downloaded Virtual DJ Home and it went off from there. I told my parents a bit after, showed them what I could do and they were pretty supportive. They're both into music, so it might be different for your parents. Mine were pretty happy I was doing something creative instead of playing WoW all day. |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by alxb
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| Gussie Septon 10.03.2012 | As long as it's not affecting your schooling, I'm sure your parents won't mind you playing around with DJing in your spare time? |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | Bro I already have my gear, I got it very recently I just thought that I had a real issue with my parents about all of this, and since I read/watched Ean Golden's post/video I started to believe I wasn't the only one with trouble approaching their parents. And I decided to create this thread. |
| Gussie Septon 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
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| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | I'm pretty sure Ean cares at least just a little for the DJ Community. Look I was just trying to help, so I should just delete this thread if everyone is going to say comments like that and not even pay attention to the topic, really helpful. I do appreciate the guys who commented about the topic and tried to help. Good for you when you were 15, you started DJing what when you were 10? And you booked gigs and 15? Some parents aren't as supportive as yours I guess. So you probably don't understand what it is for people with tough parents. Of course I can approach my parents, and I did, but they told me NO. So what do you reccomend then? Just quit what I want and don't DJ, wait until I am 18 and learn how to DJ? |
| Julissa Serrone 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
Again -- there's nothing "high" priority about you not knowing how to approach your own parents. I'm surprised with all the great advice you give out to folks here at your young age, you don't even know how to talk to your folks. When I was 15 and I wanted better gear --- I booked more parties and saved my money from gigs. |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by Major Major
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| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by haze324
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| Julissa Serrone 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
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| Mariah Hegemann 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
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| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | I'm 15 so no real job, technically it is from allowance but I do some chores and stupid stuff to earn that money, also it is birthdays and christmases worth of money, I did have to beg like crazy lol. If I had a job and earned my money I would store it myself rather than give it to my parents, and If I gave it to them, I should be able to spend it when I want to whatever I want, but that is not the case sadly. |
| Gussie Septon 10.03.2012 |
Originally Posted by DJSp1n
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| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | I thank everyone for posting, but please we are getting a little bit out of topic with my gear stuff. This was just to help other lol. |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | @alxb My brother isn't tiesto but he mixes every weekend, he sometimes DJ's in clubs but mostly in a small bar and he's well known around here. No, it was not because he wasn't succesful, it was because they said that It was just a fever and that I wanted to be like my brother, but I didn't know how hard it is and that it would be a waste of money bla bla bla. @LXJ I learned there when he went off to clubs, but my brother DJs at a bar that didn't have the club mixer and CDJs, he took his gear and set it up there. I used to mix a little with him and he'd show me, but that is acceptable until a certain point of time where you want to go serious and get your own stuff. |
| Rodger Seferovic 10.03.2012 | Your brother is a DJ. Just mix on his gear? |
| Gussie Septon 10.03.2012 | How successful is your brother as a DJ? I could understand why ur parents would be reluctant in helping you pursue this expensive hobby if they already have a kid that's doing it and not really getting anywhere. |
| Mahalia Corsette 10.03.2012 | so 10 songs or 10,000 or $10 worth of songs Also 10,000 songs at that young of age.... hmmmmmmmmmmm =/ |
| Terrell Allende 10.03.2012 | Just do lots of research on the product you want and show them all the pros of getting DJ gear . Also tell them that they won't have to hire a DJ when it comes to parties that they'll have you. That is exactly what I did and it worked |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | "I was 14 years old, I started buying tons of music, mostly EDM, and I now I have a huge music library of around 10.000 songs and it keeps growing day by day." I guess that is misunderstandable, so I'm sorry, read my explanation to that in the message above ^^^ |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | @alxb @SpeshulEd I didn't get 10.000 tracks in one year, are you crazy bro that would be insane, and impossible also. I said that I got really interested on my music when I was around 14 and that I have a library of around 10.000 songs, I never said: Well I heard a song, got interested and a year later I spent $10.000 on music lol, it is misunderstandable so that would be my mistake though. My bad. This hard drive was my brother's who is a DJ (as I said he spoke to my parents and helped me out), so he had a lot of music already, I used to only hear my brother's music, I didn't even know beatport and the other pages existed, I said I go interested when I was 14 and then I started buying music. |
| Mahalia Corsette 10.03.2012 | Smells a tad fishy yaknow |
| Joselyn Supina 10.03.2012 | You bought 10,000 tracks at the age of 15...but now you need your parents permission to buy gear? I'm confused. If I estimate each track was $.99, that would put you at spending around $10,000 on music. I believe you played this wrong...you could have spent a couple thousand on some nice gear and limited your track library to 8,000 songs. Probably still would have had more tracks than most DJ's. If my kid spent $10,000 on music before he had a job and then came and asked me for more money, I'd probably tell him to f' off. |
| Antonetta Wikel 10.03.2012 | Not if you earn your own money. I've had some sort of job since I was 12. My parents never told me how to spend the money I earned myself. |
| Gussie Septon 10.03.2012 | I find it real hard to believe you bought 10,000 tracks in one year at 14 years old. Good luck to you tho! |
| Jeramy Akinola 10.03.2012 | @SirReal Im a kid bro, I'm 15 years old only, they have all my money, and also I need their approval. Every kid needs it parents approval before he goes spending hundreds of dollars. @MyUsername that is one option depending on your parents of course, some parents aren't supportive as yours. I tried that, and as you can see, I had to struggle, and convince them like crazy, I only bought my gear because my brother spoke to them and even then they bought the gear they thought was the best and cheapest option, although I had more of my money to spend. |
| Antonetta Wikel 10.03.2012 | I don't understand your question. Are you approaching your parents for money or their approval? |
| Nereida Jasnoch 10.03.2012 | What could possibly work better then a calm discussion ? Just prepare what you want to say a few days in advance. And just tell them after dinner or whenever you 're together you want to have a serious talk about something that means a lot to you. If they support you good, if they don't persuade them. But of course they make the final call. Someone else 's advice might be better because my parents and stepparents have supported me a whole lot from the start. As a matter of fact my stepfather is asking my for months when I'm going to buy some krk's ever since I brought it up I might want to buy them. Kinda the opposite of a normal family I know. |
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