The official 'JOKE' thread
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The official 'JOKE' thread Posted on: 13.01.2012 by Deeann Cheron Note: Please keep in mind this is an all ages community
and believe twice about what you post. Try and keep it PG, & no Racism | |
| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Chong Mine 08.11.2012 |
Originally Posted by Otacon
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| nayit ruiz jaramillo 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
No jokes about race. When you know you will offend someone, stop and dont post it. Ive reported your original post to Admin. You simply CANNOT post jokes about black people on this community . |
| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Ninfa Larranaga 08.11.2012 | 4 friends meet 30 years afterschool. One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became. No 1 says his son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a ferrari. No 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet. No 3 said his son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle. No 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son. He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar! Other 3 said he must be verydisappointed with his son for not becoming successful. Oh no said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends.. |
| Ninfa Larranaga 08.11.2012 | A hot girl removes her jeans tells to her boyfriend, MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WIFE. . The boy also removes his jeans says . , . . . . . . . . WASH BOTH THE JEANS. |
| Ninfa Larranaga 08.11.2012 | When I was young my intent was to go to medical school, but I didn't pass the entrance exam. One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect. . Those who spelled SPINE became Doctors. . The rest are all my friends.. |
| Chong Mine 08.11.2012 |
Originally Posted by Otacon
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| Ninfa Larranaga 07.11.2012 | The C.E.O. was walking in d factory, he noticed a guy leaning against the wall, looking somewhere.. He approched d man & asked him, "How much do you earn?" guy was amazed n said, "2000, sir." CEO took out wallet n gave the guy 6000 n told him, "I pay people here 2 work n not 2 waste time.. This is ur 3 month's salary n now get out of here NEVER come back.." The CEO now looked at other workers & asked, "Who was that guy?" Workers replied, "He was d pizza delivery guy sir..." |
| Erich Vallabhaneni 07.11.2012 | Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was out-standing in his field! |
| Ninfa Larranaga 06.11.2012 | When I was young my intent was to go to medical school, but I didn't pass the entrance exam. One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect. . Those who spelled SPINE became Doctors. . The rest are all my friends.. |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | I was in bed with a blind girl last evening
and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend believes that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair." I was explaining to my wife last evening that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening." My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache." Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard." |
| Deeann Cheron 25.01.2012 | You are full of lol's farhanashraf. Please don't get to excited and ruin the thread by breaking the rules as Karlos has mentioned twice in this one. keep them coming though mate iatf |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | ^ sorry, take that back. Snow is like a cock, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it. Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you! BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!! |
| nayit ruiz jaramillo 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
No jokes about race. When you know you will offend someone, stop and dont post it. Ive reported your original post to Admin. You simply CANNOT post jokes about black people on this community . |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan , KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .357 Magnum in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of. She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a fucking thing!" |
| Lilliana Perris 25.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Brinda Tidrick 25.01.2012 | Q) What do Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? A) Icy dead people |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years". He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit! |
| Matt Kane 25.01.2012 | Valentines Day. Dinner 80pound. Drinks 50pound. Taxi Fare 10pound. Hotel 250pound. The look on your face when she says "I'm on my period".. Priceless. |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | The Teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: "What do you do at Christmas time?" Patrick addressed the class: "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midevening mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents." Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?" Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year...Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad's toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves...and begin to sing 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas ." |
| Latoria Kavulich 25.01.2012 | *facepalm* |
| Ninfa Larranaga 25.01.2012 | She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, |
| Deeann Cheron 24.01.2012 | Got to be quick witted around these parts of town I see. without a doubt I respect the mod squad and Jester *that awkward moment when you offend a mods member :eek: |
| Latoria Kavulich 24.01.2012 | my member is offended zane. |
| nayit ruiz jaramillo 24.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by Zaniac
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| Deeann Cheron 24.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by JesC
apologies if this thread has offended anyone. I mean no disrespect to any member |
| Cristian Carmona 23.01.2012 | Q: How many mods does it take to close a thread? A: ALL OF THEM! |
| Deeann Cheron 23.01.2012 | *What's the most sensitive part on a man's body when he is masturbating? *His ears |
| Karolis Petrauskas 20.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by VanGogo
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| Matt Kane 20.01.2012 | My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a .....................Slovak A girl in a bar said to me , "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last person alive!!'' Leaning over, I replied, " But who would be around to stop me?" That wiped the smug look right off her face. I'm busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest...!!! I saw the mother in law walking down the path so i jumped from behind the garage and shouted BOO! She said you nearly frightened me to death, so i shouted BOO! BOO! BOO! I was going to make a joke about my Gf's cooking Then I realised it was in bad taste I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn't...!!! |
| Spencer Kilcoyne 20.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by farhanashraf
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| Ninfa Larranaga 19.01.2012 | A wife asks her engineer husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six." A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?" To which he replied, "They had eggs." |
| Deeann Cheron 17.01.2012 | ^ Full of win An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke? The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90 m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks." "The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex-All Black lock." "Next to him is a bloke who's 2 m tall, weighs 120 kg and he's a current All Black second rower. Now do you still want to tell that Kiwi joke?" The first bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times." |
| Ninfa Larranaga 17.01.2012 | Socially Unacceptable Humor I was in bed with a blind girl last evening . She said my penis was the biggest she'd ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg!" My girlfriend believes I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend... yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until the doctor stuck his finger up my butt. Do you believe I should change dentists? A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back!" He says, "What did you expect? You're in a wheel chair!" I was explaining to my wife last evening that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she'd like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening!" The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst, so I went to the thrift shop and got back all her clothes. A buddy of mine was just telling me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a mustache." Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular-people porn, you sick bastard!" [Racist jokes have been deleted. However 'light' the racism maybe 'perceived' DJTT is not the place for it. And also, the race of the poster is of no consequence.] |
| Charline Dye 16.01.2012 | What's the difference between a girlfriend, a prostitute, and a wife? The girlfriend says slower slower The prostitute says faster faster And the wife says.......beige, I believe I'll paint the ceiling beige |
| Lilliana Perris 16.01.2012 |
Originally Posted by Zaniac
My dad sent it to her via email. I keep picturing it! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! |
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