Male vs Female at the cash machine
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Male vs Female at the cash machine Posted on: 18.12.2011 by Ladonna Schlender It made me laugh but made my wife belt me! MALE V FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE A new sign in the bank reads: 'Please note that this bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' ******************************* MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. LOWER your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Raise window. 7. Drive off. ******************************* FEMALE PROCEDURE: (Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth!) 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Put hand brake on, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, empty all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN . 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on mobile phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Hand Brake. SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! | |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
I wouldn't want my children to read or hear that sort of language and neither would I want them to read about how drugs may/do enhance experiences. Between the two of you, you have made a massive issue out of what was a joke. If you wish to see it differently, as you obviously do, then so be it. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
You always behave in an adult like manner these days? Was the swearing, particularly that word, really necessary on a community where it is known youngsters come to? You choose to believe I am sexist if you wish, I and people who know me know better. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
You definitely infer in that statement that people like Mary Whitehouse are/were types that take offence by proxy and are, in your words WTF! I would wager that the things she stood up against did offend her and that they did concern her. It's ok for you then, but not for her? You state "Anyhow sexist /racist / ageist / fatist/ anorexiaist/ gingerist jokes are excusable. But the keyword here is Joke". Excusable, but not acceptable? If you wish to believe of me as sexist then so be it. I'm glad I don't live in your world where a joke, clearly meant as a joke, can cause such a fuss. |
| Maisie Gwen 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by Capitan
Are you familiar with humor? Like at all? This is the first joke I've heard about "HOW FUCKING STUPID WOMEN ARE" since I was in highschool surrounded by guys in JNCO jeans and xxl football jerseys. I guess I just forgot how ignorant the population at large is. That's my mistake and I'm sorry, I will try to be more accepting of your culture. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
Irish people are thick, Jews are stingy, blondes are dizzy etc,etc. To find a joke funny does not mean you have to believe in that stereotype at all. It's a joke. Seriously, there are very few jokes around these days that are not based on some form of stereotyping. If it has got to the point where one can't discriminate between a joke and something that is genuinely meant to offend then it is a sad world we are living in. My wife is sitting here laughing her head off at this thread now as she knows me. Mind you, she is a blonde, so maybe she is so dizzy she doesn't understand what's going on! |
| Ladonna Schlender 20.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
I'm not "entrenched" in any conclusion. Rather, I take great offence to you either calling me, or inferring that I am, sexist. You don't know me or my background to have any basis for that. I am amused by your so called "moral majority/politically correct" stance on this though. Why? Well not too many posts ago you wrote this...
Originally Posted by U-31
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| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
It's a joke! Agreed if I actually believed that stereotype then it would be sexist. Whether you find it funny is another thing. Why am I confirming my ignorance? Explain what you mean...mate. If we get that politically correct about jokes there won't be many jokes left to tell will there? |
| nayit ruiz jaramillo 19.12.2011 | Hey here's a good idea... [closed] |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
I wouldn't want my children to read or hear that sort of language and neither would I want them to read about how drugs may/do enhance experiences. Between the two of you, you have made a massive issue out of what was a joke. If you wish to see it differently, as you obviously do, then so be it. |
| Maisie Gwen 19.12.2011 | I believe exposing the youth to cursing is not nearly as detrimental as exposing them to attitudes such as yours. Do you believe I behave in an adult-like manner? My name is WEED NIRVANA. I don't know if I would describe the original post as being of a "childlike nature." I don't believe children innately believe women take too much time at the ATM. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
You always behave in an adult like manner these days? Was the swearing, particularly that word, really necessary on a community where it is known youngsters come to? You choose to believe I am sexist if you wish, I and people who know me know better. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
You definitely infer in that statement that people like Mary Whitehouse are/were types that take offence by proxy and are, in your words WTF! I would wager that the things she stood up against did offend her and that they did concern her. It's ok for you then, but not for her? You state "Anyhow sexist /racist / ageist / fatist/ anorexiaist/ gingerist jokes are excusable. But the keyword here is Joke". Excusable, but not acceptable? If you wish to believe of me as sexist then so be it. I'm glad I don't live in your world where a joke, clearly meant as a joke, can cause such a fuss. |
| Maisie Gwen 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by Capitan
Are you familiar with humor? Like at all? This is the first joke I've heard about "HOW FUCKING STUPID WOMEN ARE" since I was in highschool surrounded by guys in JNCO jeans and xxl football jerseys. I guess I just forgot how ignorant the population at large is. That's my mistake and I'm sorry, I will try to be more accepting of your culture. |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | Weednirvana, a joke is usually designed to provoke an empathic reaction... The person listening draws parallels in their own experiences |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | Look mate, face it, if you find posting sexist jokes acceptable, you are by definition, Sexist. What is so hard to understand? I still stand by my statement that you cherry picked, above - it would appear i am taking offence at something that DOES concern me.. I, when i last looked at least, have a sexual gender, therefore sexist remarks that are designed to falsely stereotype one half of the sexual gender, i find those remarks offend me and my sensibility. It's not finding offence on behalf of others, i find your remarks offensive to me. And i certainly aint telling you to desist from said behaviour, remove the post or apologise, i'm merely pointing out that your remarks are sexist in nature. Something i am not alone in noticing on this thread, but despite this, despite people pointing out your error, which MAY be an abberation for all we know, and totally against your nature - but for the purposes of this thread, it was still indeed sexist. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by WEEDNIRVANA
Irish people are thick, Jews are stingy, blondes are dizzy etc,etc. To find a joke funny does not mean you have to believe in that stereotype at all. It's a joke. Seriously, there are very few jokes around these days that are not based on some form of stereotyping. If it has got to the point where one can't discriminate between a joke and something that is genuinely meant to offend then it is a sad world we are living in. My wife is sitting here laughing her head off at this thread now as she knows me. Mind you, she is a blonde, so maybe she is so dizzy she doesn't understand what's going on! |
| Maisie Gwen 20.12.2011 | Why do you find it funny? Do you find it funny because you have never felt the same way, or is it because you feel the EXACT SAME WAY? Is humor rooted in pure fantasy, or does all humor contain elements as "truth" (here truth is used in a relative sense, a more accurate term would be "belief)? You find this funny because you relate to it. Its not a matter of whether or not its funny (its not, but that's another matter entirely) its a matter of whether or not it is based on a stereotype (it is, one that you clearly beleive in.) If it was a joke and NOT SERIOUS AT ALL (as you claim) then why is it based so blatantly on a stereotype of the typical ditzy woman? "Pull up to cash machine, what's the deal with airline food?" |
| Ladonna Schlender 20.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
I'm not "entrenched" in any conclusion. Rather, I take great offence to you either calling me, or inferring that I am, sexist. You don't know me or my background to have any basis for that. I am amused by your so called "moral majority/politically correct" stance on this though. Why? Well not too many posts ago you wrote this...
Originally Posted by U-31
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| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | And in small words for the hard of believeing.. Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience... |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | Why on earth Should I deign to lecture you on morality? I'd wager the constant defence of the stance you have posed in this thread is evidence enough of the entrenched conclusion you have drawn on the matter? |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 | No reply U-31? I'm disappointed. I was hoping you were going to school me on why I apparently keep confirming my ignorance. I presume you are male and are just sticking up for so called sexism rather than seeing it as the joke it was meant to be. Are you saying that if some people don't find something funny then it will be classed as sexism, racism etc? I presume you do given your comment... "it needs to have an element of humour to be able to carry off the rampant prejudicial bigotry" If that's the case, all joke telling will cease to exist, as there will always be somebody, somewhere, that won't find a joke funny and will read into it something that was not meant to be inferred. |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
It's a joke! Agreed if I actually believed that stereotype then it would be sexist. Whether you find it funny is another thing. Why am I confirming my ignorance? Explain what you mean...mate. If we get that politically correct about jokes there won't be many jokes left to tell will there? |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | But it IS sexist... Or do you actually believe that stereotype? I suppose no bloke ever crashes a car, all blokes can accurately park equidistant between white lines, no bloke carries shit in his pocket or wallet where he keeps his cash card Etcetera etcetera etcetera... Any how, keep up, your just confirming your ignorance with every post, mate.. Oh, and it still aint funny |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by U-31
What one person finds funny, another may not - that's life. |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | Its a community
full of hairy palmed virgin teenage boys, of course yer gonna get sexist threads, they know no better. Anyhow sexist /racist / ageist / fatist/ anorexiaist/ gingerist jokes are excusable. But the keyword here is Joke. It needs to have an element of humour to be able to carry off the rampant prejudicial bigotry |
| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 | What is it with people saying it's sexist? It's a joke, it's not meant to be serious. If you don't believe it's funny, fine, but don't say it's sexist - IT'S A JOKE! If you look at most jokes they're likely to be sexist, ageist, racist, nationalist etc,etc. Blimey, take a look at this thread... http://216.157.25.179/community /showthread.php?t=29579 Now that is what you might call sexist if you are that way inclined. |
| Nella Libin 19.12.2011 | About as funny as haemorrhoids. |
| Ngan Ernestine 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by Karlos Santos
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| Ladonna Schlender 19.12.2011 |
Originally Posted by Karlos Santos
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| nayit ruiz jaramillo 19.12.2011 | Sexist crap. |
| Alexandra Nerby 18.12.2011 | That is exactly the same procedure used here in the U.S. also haha |
| Maisie Gwen 18.12.2011 | Yeah. Totally. I hate women. Why are they so stupid? |
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