Reply to To be or not to be /advice wanted! (long post)

I know you probably hate this kind of posts, but I'd be really thankful if you'd read it trough without skipping and try to understand me and give some advice to a fellow music lover.

This is my first post so a small introduction maybe,
I've been following this site and community for about 2-3 years now.
I've always liked electronic music and as a kid I wanted to play keyboard/piano but never had the chance too.
About 1.5 years ago I decided to buy an S4 and get into djing, I liked it, but soon realized its not djing itself that I like, but listening to my mixes for hours, searching for things that aren