Reply to trouble removing harness, piece missing from the upgrade kit

i have two issues. first up step 8 .. removing the one harness. i have been trying to pry it out with my fingers and i just cannot get it out. should i pull on the cables? should i apply force in a particular direction?

the second issue is that the black connector seems to be missing on my firmware kit. i just took it out of the package and its just missing. it didnt fall off or anything