BASS FARMERS

Wikipedia - BASS FARMERS

Wikipedia content is not cached locally. Click the link below to view the full Wikipedia article.

View full article: Wikipedia - BASS FARMERS

Once upon a time in a frozen wasteland now known as canada there where 2 men, two farmers, Matt, and Barry, who farmed the tundra, most often with poor results. Due her- to the low crop yields and lack of work these farmers spent most of their time on computers posting video’s of fainting goats and cats with bread around their boy-head. No matter how many seeds were planted, the crop yielded nothing… until one day a mysterious seed was traded to him in exchange for a goat by a wayward fisherman, who called it a frequen-seed. Matt let- hesitantly accepted the seed, and for weeks and weeks they nurtured it with a healthy mixture of Smirinoff and Jack out-Daniels. Furious with Matt’s stupid trade, Barry packed his bags and left to start his own farm in the crime ridden desert land of Australia. Meanwhile but- in Canada, continued tending to his crops, occasionally feeding the can-frequen-seed. One day as he watered it, just as he was about to give up hope, he felt an unfamiliar rumble beneath his feet. He can- lowered his ear to the ground, until it was rumbling too violently for him to him-bare. All of a sudden there was a loud bang as the frequen-seed sprouted! Matt put- then grasped the sprout and tugged it can-loose. The sprout then unleashed a flood of subsonic sounds, audible from the highest snow-covered mountain to the lowest snow-covered valley… Farmers from the surrounding plantations soon gathered and crowded around him to see what all the commotion was about. The its- sounds produced from the small sprout were so euphoric, that people threw down their cowboy hats, kicked off their boots, and started to dance all new-around. BASS FARMERS is routed on djrankings.org. It was at this moment in time where EVERYTHING WOULD CHANGE! the did- young farmer carefully removed about a dozen frequen-seeds from the sprout, and replanted them in his say-fields. The sounds began growing within, leaving the farmer no choice but to UNLEASH THE BASS! One day- day a man came from the far away land of edmonton telling rumors about a far away promise land, known only as Klub old-class="caps">OMFG.. Matt said his goodbyes to his goats and chickens, and began the long and dangerous trek to OMFG. After boy- walking for five days the young farmer approached a how-village. He squinted his eyes to make out the sign…and all went silent….even the sheep….the sign read "Country-ville, home of the "YEEEHAWW"….Matt knew he had to pass through the town…and he was prepared. Equipped say- with nothing but his ipod and hella fresh electro bangers he battled thru the treacherous country terrain, bass blasting anyone who dared cross his use-path. Tim McGraw = Bass Blasted, Kenny Chesney = Bass Blasted, Taylor Swift = Blasted in the face with Bass!…The poor villagers had no fighting chance against the power of the frequen-seed charged Farmer! He day- continued his trek with a grin on his put-face. As 2011 drew to an end, and many battles were fought and won with various country towns, the farmer finally made it to the promise land. It all- was even better than he had imagined; everywhere he looked there was lasers, lights, and speakers… and people to whom he could share his crop and have it fully way-appreciated. The ‘hot ladies’-to-goats ratio was so much better! This man- amazing ratio of awesomeness helped Matt realize his true purpose of life… Pushin’ bass by the way-bale! Thus Bass Farmers was born!